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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25139608">my heart's been empty (but only for you)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/tongham/pseuds/tongham'>tongham</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>X1 (Korea Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - High School, Elevators, Fluff, Getting Together, M/M, Meet-Cute, Pining</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 02:00:58</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,190</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25139608</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/tongham/pseuds/tongham</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>eunsang sits at home that evening, twirling his pencil around more often than writing with it. he’s not motivated to work on biology anyway, and it’s even harder to concentrate with elevator boy – junho – occupying his mind.</p><p>with a rough sketch in mind, eunsang’s mind wanders and outlines a future including junho. he wonders if he does indeed have a future with junho, one that goes from elevator strangers to friends to lo –</p><p>oh.</p><p>oh, <i>fuck</i>.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Cha Junho/Lee Eunsang, Kang Minhee/Song Hyeongjun</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>38</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>my heart's been empty (but only for you)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>hey i'm back!! i didn't lie when i say i have so much junsang/pokcha up my sleeve, this isn't even the tip of the iceberg. it became a lot longer than i intended and i still feel it's lacking but i want to post quickly and get my work out there!</p><p>if you're here early, let me be your reminder that junho's birthday is tomorrow! everyone better be celebrating my bb's special day &lt;3</p><p>title from _and me by ab6ix.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>eunsang is a romantic, so god help him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>he develops crushes left and right, it’s all but his permanent relationship status as he falls in love with complete strangers and the ideas of people. he had crushes on both of his best friends, minhee and hyeongjun: minhee because he’s tall, gorgeous, and stupidly entertaining; hyeongjun because he’s small and adorable and passionate for dance – he doesn’t discriminate. he got over both honeymoon stages quickly and the trio work best as a friendship, jokes and bickering between the tallest and smallest as the third party laughs along.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>maybe eunsang’s bar is on the ground, maybe he just sees the best in everyone. but let it be known that lee eunsang is a bit too in love with love.</span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>“thank god this week is finally over,” minhee sighs, walking alongside eunsang and hyeongjun as they leave their high school.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>despite timetable gerrymandering, minhee and hyeongjun remain eunsang’s closest friends and the only ones he’s willing to hang out with outside of school. their schedules don’t overlap that much, eunsang’s only with minhee in biology and hyeongjun in dance, just like freshman year where they first met. even if it’s more trouble than it’s worth, the three students swear by walking home altogether.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>with dance settling in the last timeslot of the day as mandated, eunsang and hyeongjun end the day searching for minhee, pulling him out of the biology teacher’s classroom before he lands himself a passive-aggressive request for suspension. on these days, minhee gloats about being fresh as a daisy, any excuse for something to go directly to his head.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“when are you gonna leave mrs. yoon alone?” hyeongjun inquires, always one to question minhee’s antics. “i cannot believe your bravery, speaking to her unprompted. she’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>terrifying.</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“she went to my top choice, being on good terms with her could help me a lot.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“keyword </span>
  <em>
    <span>could.</span>
  </em>
  <span> you’re crazy, minhee, absolutely unhinged.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“you know how badly i wanna go there.” minhee pouts and hyeongjun sneaks a glance, smiling at his expression.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“of course,” hyeongjun replies kindly. as different as they are, there’s no denying that minhee and hyeongjun are always there for each other, bound together through a lifetime of events to the point where words have become futile things.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>despite himself and his better judgement, eunsang is jealous. sure, he has minhee and hyeongjun, who are amazing friends, but he’s never experienced any connection like that, platonic or otherwise. eunsang’s well-aware that his loneliness is to blame for his rose-tinted view on life.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>minhee lives closest to their school, steering conversation on course to get all the vitals before he arrives home. “any plans this weekend? you know my parents need the warning.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“just eunsang’s place on saturday, right?” hyeongjun asks and eunsang nods in agreement.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“great! see you all then,” minhee says as the group arrive in front of his house.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>after minhee leaves, the remaining pair discuss a bit of dance and a bit more of minhee, eunsang triumphantly teasing hyeongjun, knowingly well-protected due to his lack of current crushes. and, of course, it’s always a treat to make hyeongjun shy since he’s so naturally cute. it’s a win-win situation, one in which eunsang wins twice and hyeongjun always loses.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“bye, hyeongjun! see you tomorrow,” eunsang says as he waves to hyeongjun traveling the distance of his driveway. the younger boy walks backwards until he’s out of sight, waving back to eunsang and pouting as they part.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>shortly after hyeongjun disappears beyond the safety of his home, the clouds above open up and eunsang feels small raindrops fall over his bangs. without an umbrella, eunsang sighs and accepts his fate, quickening his pace in vain.</span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>eunsang lives in an apartment complex quite the distance from his school, walking home by his lonesome after dropping off his two friends. not that he minds it, eunsang has always been one to enjoy peace and quiet and time to himself.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>when eunsang enters the elevator, he blindly punches the 7 button and busies himself with his phone as per usual. he shakes a hand through his hair to dry off his head and that’s when he hears someone else cough politely.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>eunsang looks in the direction of the sound and his eyes are greeted by a boy who is understatedly attractive, occupied with a paper box and its flimsy lid. eunsang takes this opportunity to remember his features for future reference (and also because he’s nice to look at). eunsang believes he’s just rearranging his things until he starts cooing affectionately. cute, but this boy may very well have lost his mind.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“hi,” eunsang says dumbly. “sorry about that.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>fortunately oblivious, the other boy lowers the box to look directly at eunsang and asks innocently, “about what?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“oh, it’s nothing,” and as eunsang says that, a quiet </span>
  <em>
    <span>meow</span>
  </em>
  <span> escapes the box and the boy tilts the lid open minutely, shushing its contents. “what was that?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>the stranger’s eyes go wide as he scrambles to explain. “please don’t tell the landlord, i just moved here but i rescued noru right before i came here.” the tension visibly melts off his shoulders upon receiving eunsang’s kind expression, smiling apologetically and petting the interior of the box.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>eunsang gazes at the other boy, eyes sparkling and sincere. he’s kind enough to keep these little secrets anyway, but how could he ever say no to this? “well…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“well?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“are you gonna let me see noru?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>he freezes for a moment before his response. “shit, sorry. here.” he fully lifts the lid and a kitten’s tiny head pokes up.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>eunsang coos, scratching behind the cat’s ears and he hears a warm giggle from the other boy. he looks back up and they meet eyes, much closer than eunsang previously perceived.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>maybe he’s just being nice, maybe he’s just weirded out by the strangers in this new place, but this boy was definitely looking at eunsang and his heart speeds up a bit at that. the thought of him being anywhere near interested in eunsang would allow him to die happy right at this moment, a life well-lived for lee eunsang. but, of course, not everyone is well-versed in the art of love at first sight.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“is this your stop?” eunsang asks when the elevator door opens to the sixth floor.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>the boy’s eyes flick overhead and he nods silently. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“before you go,” eunsang shouts a bit too enthusiastically, causing the boy to stop within the elevator, “i’m lee eunsang, room 79.” he extends his hand for a shake before remembering the boy already has his hands full. the other boy laughs gentle, like the morning bells eunsang remembers from kindergarten, and bows his head in acknowledgment.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“cha junho. room... i don't remember yet.” he – junho – scratches the back of his neck. “but i am indeed on floor 6.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>cha junho, </span>
  </em>
  <span>eunsang rounds out the syllables in his mouth, committing it to memory. it suits him: an attractive name for an attractive person.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>after a momentary silence, junho speaks up. “i’ll get going now,” he says quietly and eunsang nods.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“hope to see you around soon.” eunsang didn’t mean to say that aloud, but it makes junho smile so any potential risk was worth it.</span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>eunsang sits at home that evening, twirling his pencil around more often than writing with it. he’s not motivated to work on biology anyway, and it’s even harder to concentrate with elevator boy – junho – occupying his mind.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>as quickly as eunsang fell for junho, he still doesn’t know much about the boy beyond their first meeting. from what eunsang has perceived, junho seems to be the shy type, a good match for eunsang’s calm personality. however, he has an underlying feeling that there’s much more to junho than meets the eye. his status as a cat person knocks him up a few more notches in eunsang’s eyes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>with a rough sketch in mind, eunsang’s mind wanders and outlines a future including junho. he wonders if he does indeed have a future with junho, one that goes from elevator strangers to friends to lo –</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>oh.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>oh, </span>
  <em>
    <span>fuck</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>“cha junho will be the death of me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>minhee sits up abruptly from where he was laying on eunsang’s bed – as promised, this is saturday, their weekend hangout at eunsang’s place. “new crush?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“got your spark back?” hyeongjun asks enthusiastically and eunsang nods wordlessly. “it’s been quite some time, i’m so happy for you!” he pulls eunsang into a small hug, patting his shoulders.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“we met in the elevator, he just moved here and he was sneaking in his pet cat –”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“eunsang, sweetie. i imagine junho wanted you to keep that secret, right?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>the younger boy’s eyes widen at hyeongjun’s words. “anyway! not only does he love cats but he loves abandoned cats, he rescued noru – the kitten’s name is noru, how cute is that? – right before moving here and he couldn’t bear to part with her. and because life is unfair and god plays favorites, he is </span>
  <em>
    <span>also </span>
  </em>
  <span>the most gorgeous person i have ever laid eyes on.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>minhee scoffs from his position, “eunsang, please. you’ve certainly seen m –” and his sentence is punctuated by a pillow straight to the gut, eunsang’s doing.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>eunsang sighs, falling back to rest on the floor, staring at the white ceiling of his room. “there’s something different about him. it kinda scares me, but i wanna know more. i still feel nervous around him, but i also feel bold in a way. at any moment, i could either sweep him off his feet or fall flat on my face.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“i’m sure he’s gonna like you either way. and if he doesn’t?” hyeongjun waves a hand dismissively. “he’s not worth your time.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>eunsang continues, mostly talking to himself at this point. “his voice is nice to listen to and he’s a bit awkward but it’s this cute shy-awkward which makes him even more endearing and i can’t believe i didn’t give him my number. fuck, i’m so stupid.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“maybe you’ll see him again?” hyeongjun’s voice startles eunsang, he nearly forgot his two friends were present in the room. “i’d imagine you’ll be returning around the same time on school days.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“does he even go to our school?” eunsang asks aimlessly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>immediately, minhee rejoins the conversation. “no, he doesn’t. i just looked him up in the student directory and he’s not there.” eunsang pouts at his blank ceiling.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“you are going to get his number on monday,” hyeongjun commands, sitting up and poking eunsang’s chest with each syllable. all he can do is nod, feeling as if he has no place to argue with the youngest boy.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“i think this time will be different,” eunsang mumbles to himself, sighing one last time before dropping the subject and moving on with saturday as scheduled.</span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>eunsang sincerely feels that this time with junho will be different from any other silly other crush he’s had before. he </span>
  <em>
    <span>knows</span>
  </em>
  <span> this time will be different. that blank space in eunsang’s life that has consumed his thoughts for so long, he is determined to fill it with junho’s name and he won’t settle for anyone less.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>on the following monday, eunsang’s heart speeds up alongside his strides home at the thought of running into junho again. he keeps his words with minhee and hyeongjun minimal, allowing the two ample time to have their own discussions – or, in reality, tease eunsang about his investment in a boy he’s only met once.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>eunsang’s heart stutters in his chest when he catches sight of another high school student moving toward the same apartment complex in which he lives, he has no doubt in his mind as to who it may be. he knew it was coming but eunsang’s heart deflates a bit when he notices junho’s contrast of a school uniform, one less connection between them.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>shoving down his distracted thoughts, eunsang puts himself in the moment. “junho!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>the boy turns around and breaks into a small smile, as handsome as eunsang last left him. “i’m surprised you remembered my name.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“how could i ever forget?” eunsang smiles and watches junho’s expression turn adorably confused. “was today your first day at your new school?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“yeah,” junho sighs without any meaning. “it’s really different from what i’m used to. there’s so many </span>
  <em>
    <span>people</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>eunsang laughs smally at junho’s wonder in his everyday occurrences. “hey,” he says politely, tipping on the line of caution. “since you’re new here, i was wondering if you’d like to hang out with my friends and i?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“eunsang, you really don’t have to –”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>ignoring the way his name in his voice makes his chest heat up, he rushes to comfort him. “it’s really no problem! i think you’d get along with them nicely. they really wanna meet you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>junho smile stays small, but there’s a glint of mischief in his eyes now. “did you tell them about me?” so far, eunsang’s hunch is right: junho’s personality is full of surprises.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>eunsang feels his face go warm, but he rebounds with grace. “there’s not many people our age in this building anymore.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“okay, then yeah, i’d really like to.” junho smiles, genuine this time. “i’ll give you my number so you can let me know when and where.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>and he sticks the landing himself, just as eunsang imagined.</span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>“we’re the best friends ever, aren’t we?” minhee says as he approaches an unfamiliar high school alongside hyeongjun and the reason why they’re there.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“please don’t embarrass me,” eunsang says pointedly. “i mean it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“we will be a normal amount of embarrassing, thank you very much. he deserves to know exactly what he’s getting into.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>eunsang nods in agreement, albeit a bit suspicious, as junho falls into his line of sight and he freezes involuntarily.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>ever the emotionally-intelligent, hyeongjun catches on immediately and sticks an arm in front of minhee to halt the trio. “are you ready or do you wanna wait here?” he asks quietly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>eunsang doesn’t need to think for long “screw it, let’s just do it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>shock flickers over the youngest’s face, quickly replaced by a proud smile as they pick up their pace, all three anxious to see junho.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>for familiarity’s sake, eunsang is the one to speak up with a simple “hey,” falling in step beside junho.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>the elder boy starts a bit, coming down from his own world, and smiles kindly at eunsang in such a way that his heart melts and pools in his ribcage. “hi. are your friends here?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>eunsang gestures for him to turn around, indicating the two by name. “this is minhee and hyeongjun.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>junho mumbles a small </span>
  <em>
    <span>hi</span>
  </em>
  <span> and the other pair greet him enthusiastically. hyeongjun doesn’t hide when he’s sizing others up, but he does so with a small smile, entertained and possibly even approving. “nice to meet you, junho. heard lots about you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“you have?” junho asks, head tilted in confusion and eunsang thinks it’s adorable even as he contemplates strangling hyeongjun. a shared secret between them, junho smirks knowingly at eunsang when hyeongjun looks away. of course he wouldn’t get away with that so easily.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>junho is still a bit quiet, but he gets along fine with the other boys. eunsang likes watching junho interact with minhee and hyeongjun, on the sidelines and free to admire the eldest. junho and minhee discuss academics; turns out that junho’s also aiming for medicine and his acceptance into a scientific high school was his reason for relocation. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>junho gets comfortable quick and eunsang learns a lot about him, things he was too shy to ask about on their short encounters in the elevator. figures, minhee is easy to talk to.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“you were right, he </span>
  <em>
    <span>is</span>
  </em>
  <span> really handsome,” hyeongjun whispers, appearing by eunsang’s side.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“you guys like him, right?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“i do, at least. i think minhee does too.” hyeongjun gestures toward the pair chatting away. “but you don’t need our approval, we’re not marrying you off or anything.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“i know, i just trust you two to be my voice of reason. you know how i can get when i fall hard.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“as far as i can tell, junho would be really good for you. take your chances here, eunsang.” hyeongjun gives him an encouraging pat on the back before sidling up to minhee.</span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>after some distance, minhee and hyeongjun are at home and eunsang’s left to fend for himself, walking home with his crush. way too sensitive to the silence, he strikes conversation as their shared complex emerges from the fog. “you must be pretty good at science?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>junho smiles smally, shy. “a bit. it’s just the result of a lot of studying and passion for the subject.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“and when did that start?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>junho pauses to think. “probably when my father had cancer.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“oh,” eunsang’s breath catches. “i’m sorry.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“it’s okay, it was a long time ago.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>they remain silent again until they enter the building – no one holds the door open, it’s automatic. “sorry for killing the mood there. i have so much respect for people who are good at science, i’m awful at it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“i can help you out, if you want?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“junho, you don’t have to –”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“but i want to,” junho says and eunsang nearly trips. “tomorrow’s wednesday, right? how about you come over with whatever you’re doing in class right after school.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“we’ll be picking you up at your school again?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>junho shrugs sheepishly, “i already made that assumption,” and eunsang’s heart soars.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>because he’s starting to believe that junho’s interested in him too, eunsang responds with confidence. “see you then.”</span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>over the following months, junho is absorbed into eunsang’s friend group, welcomed by minhee and hyeongjun as more than just an acquaintance through eunsang. among themselves, eunsang and junho make a habit of their study sessions – at junho’s, of course, so eunsang can see noru regularly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“you’ve been quiet today, is there something on your mind?” eunsang asks idly, twirling his pencil around to avoid productivity.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>junho meets his eyes from a distance. “i’ve been wondering, are you and hyeongjun…?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>eunsang looks back, confused before it clicks. “oh my god, no! we’re not dating or anything, if that’s what you mean. hyeongjun’s just really affectionate.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“oh, okay,” junho mutters quietly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“why, are you jealous?” eunsang asks with a grin, sitting up straight at the prospect of leverage swinging in his favor for once.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>junho’s cheeks flush bright red, yet he speaks sincerely. “yes, i’m jealous that he keeps stealing you away from me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>eunsang widens his eyes in amusement. “you’re always stealing minhee away from him, it’s only fair.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“i do not!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“now you know how i feel, i’m the one who introduced you to minhee in the first place.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“yeah, but we got this too.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“does this time mean something to you?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“of course it does.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>eunsang laughs loudly. “cha junho, you are so brutally honest.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“this is much better than hard-to-get, agreed?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>he understands that the relationship terminology was the punchline but, unfortunately, eunsang can’t quite agree. junho’s right, he’s not playing hard-to-get, but why does eunsang still find it so hard to get him?</span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>on a mild late-spring day, eunsang takes his chances. “if i rank within the top 10 of my class, will you come with me to the summer festival?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>junho pauses, pensive as he scratches noru behind the ears. “top 5?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>eunsang sighs dramatically. “why are you making this so hard for me?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“if you wanna land a date with me, you’re gonna have to work for it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>eunsang’s eyes widen, rushing to explain himself. noru scurries away as junho sits forward in his seat, anticipating how eunsang will smooth-talk his way out of this one (spoiler: he won’t). “it’s not a date!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“did you even plan on inviting minhee and hyeongjun?” junho quips with a smirk.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“they never go with me,” eunsang says, pouting to drive his point home. “that’s why i’m asking you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>junho tilts his head back, thinking on the decision for a short moment. “deal. shake on it?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>eunsang takes junho’s hand in his but as soon as it’s there, it’s gone again.</span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>on a rare day of junho’s absence from his after-school commute, eunsang quickly rushes home with good news. standing in the elevator, urging it to hurry up, he calls junho.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>over junho’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>hello?</span>
  </em>
  <span>, eunsang blurts out, “i ranked second.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“huh?” junho asks on the other line after a confused pause.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“for the biology test, i ranked second!” eunsang’s voice rises alongside his excitement. a </span>
  <em>
    <span>ding</span>
  </em>
  <span> echoes and he quickly fumbles for his apartment key. “only behind minhee. i’ve never been top 10 for any bio test ever.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“congratulations, eunsang,” junho says calmly before his following words spill out. “i have some things planned, i’ll be there in just a sec.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>confused, eunsang’s phone begins to beep as junho hangs up on the other line.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>when the doorbell rings shortly after, he’s pulled into an unexpected hug by none other than cha junho. “you worked really hard, i’m proud of you.” junho’s voice is a low whisper, not much noise needed to carry words between them when he’s so near. taking a hand loosely in his, he tugs on eunsang’s arm excitedly. “now let’s go celebrate!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>these new sides to junho overwhelm eunsang, he’s grappling to understand the affections coming from the other boy and his underlying intentions. eunsang goes to move his hand, fearing he’s taking things too fast, but junho tightens his grip, a silent plea. eunsang doesn’t let go.</span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>junho’s planned surprise was the convenience store at the corner, the one eunsang likes with the large assortment of flavored ice cream cups. “how did you find out about this place?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“i have my ways,” junho smiles slyly and eunsang laughs.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“from minhee? he’s the only one who can handle more ice cream than me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>junho encourages eunsang to buy all he wants, covering the cost. choosing an ice cream bar for himself, the pair settle at one of the small tables in the back.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“this feels different,” eunsang says plainly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“like a date?” junho says, equally-plain, and eunsang struggles to steady himself after nearly tumbling to the ground. it’s cool, though, solely the result of the small diner-style seating.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>looking for an escape before his cheeks turn an incriminating red, eunsang changes the subject. “why are you doing this? all i wanted in return was the festival.” he feigns nonchalance, peeling open a second cup of cookie dough.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“i’m doing this because i want to. minhee and hyeongjun are great, but i also like spending time with just you. i really like you, eunsang.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>commanding control over his nervous system, eunsang pierces the softening ice cream with the wooden spoon before he ends up dropping it. “you can’t just say things like that!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“like what? that i really like you? but it’s the truth.” finished, junho wraps the crinkly white plastic around the wooden stick once home to his vanilla-almond. “language isn’t my forte, let’s just leave it at that.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>junho may very well just be toying with eunsang’s emotions at this point in their friendship, but he’s still drawn in and wants – no, needs – to get closer to him. eunsang can’t stand to keep junho as just a friend for much longer, not when he likes him so much and he’s near-certain that junho likes him back.</span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>nothing could’ve prepared eunsang to see his crush in this setting. the summer festival has become mundane to him, an annual tradition losing its childish glimmer to the appeal of nostalgia, but junho turns it all to gold. the flat main streets and dim storefronts, the cries of much-too-spoiled children, the overpriced cotton candy: it all becomes beautiful with junho in its presence, looking around and absorbing with a wondrous look on his face.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“this is amazing. and you said this happens every year?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“for generations now. i’ve never missed one in my life.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>junho shares a small look of kindness with eunsang before sinking back into the festival atmosphere, the pair approaching the food vendors.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>in an attempt to regulate his heart rate, eunsang speaks up and pretends to be normal and unaffected by junho’s existence. “hey, there’s these lemon tarts you </span>
  <em>
    <span>need</span>
  </em>
  <span> to try.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>armed with the lees’ trusty picnic basket, a family heirloom for this exact purpose and woven just like the cliched idea of one, eunsang and junho emerge from the marketplace setting weighed down with bouts of foods of all kinds. taking turns in the balancing act, the pair are directed to eunsang’s trademark spot to watch the fireworks, quite the distance from downtown at an abandoned baseball field.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>hopping atop the dugouts like some coming-of-age film, eunsang orients them in the direction of the upcoming spectacle as they crack open the stash of treats, leaving his favorites for junho to enjoy.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>save from junho’s assorted comments about the food, they remain in a comfortable silence as the sun sets and the air chills. eunsang packs it in early to retract his hands into the sleeves of his hoodie.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>pausing to reach for a napkin, junho speaks up. “i know i keep repeating myself but thank you for this.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“oh, no worries. i’d just be going by myself otherwise.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“no, i mean more than just tonight, eunsang. thank you for being so nice to me all this time. to be honest, i really didn’t wanna move in the first place, but i’m glad i did if it meant meeting you.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>eunsang feels his face turn warm, heartbeat speeding up at junho’s words. he doesn’t have much time to focus on his symptoms when his phone lights up, indicating the top of the hour, and the first sparks explode in the sky.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>the silence remains comfortable, yet with a different charge, as they enjoy the show with minimal words between them. eunsang pays full attention to the fireworks because he’s too afraid to look over at junho, too afraid to sink deeper into him with such a picture-perfect moment unraveling.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>at some point, eunsang shifts to take the empty basket from its disruptive place between him and junho. it’s then that junho startles a bit, coming back down to earth after getting lost in his own thoughts. eunsang’s imagination makes him smile smally to himself.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>however, he quickly snaps out of that character-building exercise when junho rests a hand on eunsang’s shoulder, leaving him no choice but to look directly at him. “you’ve been really quiet, what’s on your mind?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>and because eunsang conveniently misplaced his brain-to-mouth filter the day he met junho in the elevator, “i really wanna kiss you right now.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>junho’s eyes widen momentarily before it’s gone. “then do it,” he mumbles, so impossibly quiet that eunsang must’ve misheard, must’ve filled in the blanks as he pleased.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“what?” he replies for clarification.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>junho diverts his attention from the fireworks, fully turning his body toward eunsang. in an instant, his palms are against eunsang’s face and lips are on lips in a soft kiss.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>nothing could’ve ever prepared eunsang for kissing cha junho: his hands fit to junho’s waist, the taste of lemon sweet and sour on his lips, the fireworks illuminated above, exploding in time with eunsang’s heart. at this moment, everything is so stupidly perfect. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>junho stays close when they part, resting his forehead against eunsang’s. “i said </span>
  <em>
    <span>then do it</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” junho says, eyes fully focused on eunsang, “but you didn’t hear me so i took matters into my own hands.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“that was perfect,” eunsang says dumbly and junho laughs.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“agreed.” junho settles a warm hand on eunsang’s neck, a sharp contrast to the chilly summer air, one of the many ways this boy is setting eunsang’s senses alight right now. “shall we continue?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>eunsang doesn’t need to be asked twice, enough adrenaline coursing through his veins to make the first move the second time around. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>“remember when i said i really like you?” junho asks, seemingly out-of-the-blue, on their walk home after eunsang’s confession and the summer festival.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>eunsang hums quietly in agreement.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“that’s exactly what i meant. i skated around it because i didn’t know if you liked me too.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>eunsang’s mouth forms a small o in reaction. “i thought it was so obvious that i loved you ever since we first met in the elevator.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>junho’s eyes widen a bit at the subtle drop of the l-word, albeit in a safe usage, before a grin fights it way onto his face. “i’m that good, huh?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“don’t flatter yourself,” eunsang shoots back but they both know he doesn’t mean it.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“i just wanted to tell you again, straight-up this time. i really like you, eunsang.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>eunsang smiles. “i really like you too, junho.” he holds tight onto the hand that’s been brushing against his for way too long. his fingers intertwine with junho’s own, an action that somehow feels more intimate than the kisses shared between them in the past hour. he sneaks a glance to see junho’s cheeks a bit pink, looking even more beautiful when flustered. inspired and euphoric, eunsang steers conversation to the good part. “can i get some confirmation here?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“about?” junho asks idly, swinging their hands between them and eunsang lets out a small laugh, audible enough for junho to look up and smile.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>feeling himself slip into distractions, eunsang reminds himself of what he needs to say. “us.” he sighs in hesitance, recalling what junho taught him before blurting it out. “are we dating now?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“i don’t know, i’ll have to ask.” junho grins, turning to stop them both on the sidewalk, and grabs eunsang’s other hand to hold on tight. “eunsang, do you wanna be my boyfriend?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>eunsang’s heart skips from the chilled air, from the grey hoodie wrapped around him, from the yellowish tint of the city under the streetlights, from the beautiful boy standing in front of him. “yes.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>eunsang is beginning to understand that love actually isn’t the racing hearts and nervousness and adrenaline. it’s in these exact moments, when eunsang lets out an acute sigh of frustration and junho notices, tuned into eunsang’s emotions, looking up from his own task to wordlessly take hold of eunsang’s hand, threading their fingers together in a pattern that spells safety and home.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>it’s in these exact moments when junho is patient with him as he helps eunsang with biology, pushing his worries away when he insists that junho isn’t obligated to help him. because, as junho says, he wants to be there for eunsang in every way that he can. eunsang doesn’t worry about repaying him in equivalencies anymore, assured that the things they do for each other out of love equal a net sum.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>it’s in these moments when, despite putting eunsang’s worries to rest and speaking seriously with him, junho also jokes about accepting his tutoring payments in kisses. eunsang is more than okay with that.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>free of daydreams and uncertainties and imaginations, eunsang is no longer bound to his past perception of romance as junho crosses it out with a neat line, pressing backspace on it all. it’s in every moment with junho when eunsang experiences his own definition of true love.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>aa i don't quite know if it's where i want it to be but here it is!! i wished to post something else in june so this is me trying to make up for it, i usually don't write things this long but i got carried away.</p><p>find me on twitter @deuichas or at curiouscat.me/tongham! and kudos + comments always appreciated no matter what!! byee~</p></blockquote></div></div>
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